Here comes the sun.

So many things to say, so many things to do. Only one girl in this whole world I want to tell it to.

That just came out, might try to write a song around it. SPEAKING OF!!!!

It feels so good to create something. Anything. I'll be honest, this is a secret between you and me and the whole entire internet....I HATE writing songs. With a fiery passion from hell! Am I good at it? I don't know, I don't think so. Here's what I hate about it- The feeling that I can't do the same thing twice...this plagues me. I wrote a song last week that I was quite proud of. After doing some vocals on it, there were a couple of things that I liked and a couple I didn't, but I was afraid if I re-did it I would lose the things I liked about it. Anyways, it turned out beautiful, to me at least. Anything I'm writing and/or recording at home is just for demo purposes only. A starting point if I ever got some studio time. I hate writing songs because it scares me. It scares me that it feels like everything has been done before. And yes, we are all copying each other in one way or another. The bands I listen to seep into my style and BOOM. We all do it, I don't beat myself up over that. There's just a lot of pressure to be clever in song. Who's got the best metaphor? Ya know?

Ok, I love writing songs. I love that after some due diligence, there's something there that I made. Something that means a lot to me. I don't like to write songs about other people or fantasy stuff like some of my favorite musicians. Or maybe I do. I just don't know if I have the imagine for it.

This is a line from a song I wrote last week-

"I kneel down--------and I pray a lot / but I'm not sure----------if it's me to God    /    or if it's a demon to the devil     /      nothing in this whole world is on the level."

I love that line. It's something I've wondered about, it's personal and writing about it seems kind of daft to me.  Is there a line to draw about being too personal when you write? Like I fuckin know. How about this: I'll keep writing my shitty songs as they come around and you might listen. You might not. Either way, I hope that it means something. If it didn't, I don't know why I'd be doing it.

The creator created the creation to create. I guess that's how I'll be looking at things.

Writing, Singing, Acting, Hugging, Painting, Wrastlin with my Dog!.....all good things. and they all belong to me.

I guess this one probably makes no good sense. But I needed to put it somewhere.

PEACE.