Also...

I hate taking showers. I think this is probably the best forum to say that. You know sometimes the hot water feels good and things. But It's inconvenient, makes my skin feel weird and you run the risk of serious injury if you're not careful. I limit my time in the shower and it's frequency of use.

C'mon! It's not like a smell bad or somethin!

I done did it.

So, yesterday was all together bizarre. So busy I didn't even get to take a lunch, but I was able to leave a little early, hoping to miss that damned "get motivated" seminar traffic. Saw an old friend downtown. It was really good to see him. Got some hangout time with my dude friends in last night. Sang 'Walk The Line' at karaoke.

I feel like my brain goes through a pretty noticeable cycle throughout the day...at least noticeable to me. It is as follows: Sleepy/Excited/Sleepy/Slightly Manic/Humorous/Sleepy/Creative/Sleepy but can't sleep. Or maybe that's just nonsense bullshit. I have no idea.

I've been thinking about this movie 'The Philadelphia Story' and how (in the extreme sense) it really seems to be kind of true to life.

There seems to be 3 types of men that a Woman goes for:

1. The Logical man. He's the man that makes sense. He has money, he's not ugly, but he's not beautiful. He's logical because he's a logical decision for a Woman. There is nothing special about this guy except to the Woman that he spends the rest of his days with.

2. The Intellectual man. He's the one that stimulates your brain. He falls in love quickly with a Woman that he thinks understands him and likewise. He wants gold, but he'll take silver in a second.

Which brings us to 3. The Safety man. This guy....This mother fucker. You've seen him. He's the one that you could consider "seasoned". Jack of all trades, Master of none. Kind of floating through life with no real goals or dreams. His dreams are 5 seconds long and belong to other people. I guess I can word that differently; His dream is to help you with your dream. Does that make sense? In a way, a good Woman is all he wants, needs and desires. Familiar faces are the best, but strangers are always welcome. The biggest problem in his life is that he wants what he pushes away. Alcohol is no stranger to this man. He knows it bites more than it barks.

Now, If you've never seen the movie you should. For one, it's set in my favorite City! So was the movie Philadelphia, but I don't ever want to see that movie again.

As for the three types, I consider myself more of the third. Surprised? You couldn't tell by how much more detail I had on the third? Truth is, I think if I was more of the first or second, I'd have more detail on them. But they bore me. Now I know I'm no Cary Grant, nor am I rich (AT ALL), but I get the personality. I get the protective nature of this character. Not jealous, but protective....Watch the movie and decide for yourself. Only Jimmy Stewart and Cary Grant could pull this kind of movie off.

That's all I got for now. Gonna do some work.

Cold

Ok. I would firstly like to say that I am honored to be the first male employee at my company. And no, it wasn't because I'm overtly feminine, because I'm not.

With that being said......

It's too fucking cold in here! Everyday I come in, turn the thermostat up to a reasonable temperature and then around an hour later when other people come in....BOOM! Jacked down to 60 or so. People, we have to come together. You know I hate being cold in the first place! Help a brotha out!

I keep a surplus of hoodies in my office. I'm wearing one now, as I do every morning. But these hands....these hands are like ICE!!!

Much love invisible readers.

Doopahdeydoop!

Yesterday was pretty great in the most simplistic form of greatness.

1. Woke up, made delicious breakfast + Coffee = Me, rubbing my tummy like a bear!

2. Watched a movie, Dylan Dog Dead of Night. Not bad for what you know it's going to be. Also the night before I watched The Beaver. Honest opinion? I thought it was pretty great. Jodie Foster is always perfect and Mel Gibson is....well....he's Mel Gibson. He's brilliant/insane. He pulled off the character great.

3. Wrote a song I really like in terms of what its purpose is. Nice little love song I suppose.

4. Cleaned what could have possibly been cleaned at my apartment. I'm clean. I don't like dirty.

5. Saw my Mom for a bit. Always a pleasure.

6. Joey came over and brought the last 2 seasons of 'The Wire'. When I'm done I'm going to have to find a new show to obsess over.

7. We went out to smoke and saw that his truck was leaking coolant like a mofo and after I found where it was seeping out of, notice that the hole had been plugged up with....get this....A PIECE OF BAMBOO!!! So after much deliberation and experimentation, I got it plugged with aluminum foil and electrical tape. Sounds rigged? It was.

8. Watched some football with Joseph... I have never been able to get into football. I don't mind it. But it's just never been explained in terms that I could understand or find interesting, however, when someone is interested in watching a game (in this case Joey) I don't mind watching it, learning it in the small doses that my feeble brain can take in. Maybe by the time I'm 90 I'll fully get it and enjoy it! But for now, let's go to a movie!

9. Watched the first two episodes of season 4 of the wire. Got too amped to sleep and laid in bed for like 2 hours not able to sleep <---------typical problem.

10. I sleep on a full size bed. This has never bothered me until recently when it feels like nothing I can do will make my feet not hang off the end of the bed. I realize- Papa needs a Queen....in more ways than one. HA!

Good weekend. Saturday night saw a show at a bar, with a lot of drunk people, when you're not drinking at a bar when you drive in lieu of the obvious, it just gets really annoying when two really drunk people, whom you didn't really like when you were shit housed, come and sit next to you and tell you how much they missed you,  wont stop hugging you, and dropping cigarettes. The band was Amy McBride and The Active Ingredient. friends, good people, good show from what I saw.

Hope this week is as good as the last! If anyone reads this, hope your week is filled with joy and good surprises.

This Week...

Such a bizarre week. Between lawyer stuff, work, after-work stuff, girls, Women, I'm just a little tired.

So, I'd like to thank myself for the solid reminder of what it is I'm trying to do here. I'm having a hard time getting rid of guilt over certain things. Things I've said when I've been drunk. Things that happened a long time ago that for no reason whatsoever, popped up in my head this week and now I have this weird feeling in my gut area.

I wrote a song today when I got home from Beebe. It reminds of (and was written for) you. 7 years today and I don't know if I could miss you anymore than I do. I miss your mom too and hope she is doing well. I saw her a few months back and she seemed ok. We don't really talk about you anymore. I think that over the years I've tried to discount my feelings for you by just brushing over the subject with certain people. I would never want to get empathy from a Woman regarding you. How did this fucking post just turn into me talking to you?

I really hope that death is just a gateway. I know a lot of people hold in some form of contempt for even believing in something after death. But fuck them. If I thought that I would never see the faces of all the people that I've lost...I don't know what the point to all this would be. There has to be some point to it other than being a good person. I don't think it's all about what you leave behind but more what you can imagine after.

I'm tired of typing. Right now, I'd like to get drunk, piss off my neighbors by playing my guitar and writing more songs about how much I miss you. but, alas, I cannot do that. I like being nice sometimes.

I do hope that there's enough good in me to make it to wherever you are. You were the best at being perfect, to me. Sometimes I freak over the fact that you'd be 26 too, and how different my life would be if you were here. It really blows my mind.. It LITERALLY makes my head explode. haha.

I think I'm going to post that song with this. Don't want to post it on facebook where everyone would hear it but I do feel an obligation to put it out there somehow, someway. I'm sure if there's a place after death you do know what facebook is. It wasn't around (like so many things) when you were here. You haven't missed a whole lot media wise; Dashboard now sucks, movies are the same. I'm pretty sure you would've gotten into LOST. There's too much to remember to tell you about and I'm still kinda of pissed that this blog turned out to be a conversation to you. But therapy, it is, I suppose.

Love

Oliver.

Whoa.

It's amazing how a couple of years can really change you. I hadn't even looked at this stuff in forever. Thank God for freedom.