Where to begin.
My recent breakup is starting to really take a toll on me, considering my birthday was Saturday and about the only thing I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and suffocate, which is probably what I deserve for whatever reason's.
I'm not making an attempt to be dramatic, considering: noone reads this blog, so it's just a way for me to vent my anger, frustrations, etc.
I've though a lot over the past couple of days of all the "I swear to God, I'm telling you the truth" or the "You're the only one for me" or the "Why can't you just trust me"....Why you ask? Because you couldn't and I'm sure still wouldn't tell me the truth about anything.
I've had several panic attacks in the past few days when all the times something I did believe you about came to the surface and I think, was it the truth? Probably not, so let's panic!
On the other side, your pillow still smells like you, and it kills me, no matter how much you've hurt me, I still wish I had you, but there is no way that can happen.
No matter what, you've completely broken me, completely. Now I've got to try and put myself back together, and try to not lump all Women in with you, because you are not a Woman, you're a girl, a girl that plays games, plays games with people's hearts and doesn't think twice about it until you're alone.
Goodbye
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
why...
Why are there so many things that prevent smooth events, I could literally pick out the people who have made my birthday a disaster, if they hadn't been involved at all, it couldve been nice, but wether it's thinking of someone that makes you sick, or someone who refuses to do things that make life easier or what, it sucked, and now I think I have a stomach virus...wonderful.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Happy Birthday
Yea right, I wish...
Sometimes it feels like my birthday has one purpose, to sum up how crappy my life is in one day, however, as opposed to last year, I've cleaned up a lot, taken out some trash and refuse to be beaten down again, I will - get a haircut, get a tattoo, hang with friends, get a massage and who knows what else.
Here's to another year on the streets.
Sometimes it feels like my birthday has one purpose, to sum up how crappy my life is in one day, however, as opposed to last year, I've cleaned up a lot, taken out some trash and refuse to be beaten down again, I will - get a haircut, get a tattoo, hang with friends, get a massage and who knows what else.
Here's to another year on the streets.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
This is my first mobile blog, how effin exciting? Not really, but it doesn't take much these days, peace everyone.
Monday, April 27, 2009
I need...
My bar, and a few happy hour drinks, so I can maybe experience one happy hour out of the day today
Saturday, April 25, 2009
5 days
no meat
Labels:
north little rock,
oliver,
parkhill,
progress,
vegetarian
Saturday
I wish I had been in memphis last night to see my favorite musician...but alas...I was not.
however, today has been swell, after a long night of nightmares I went to eat lunch with Melissa at jasons deli, deliciouso.
Now i'm waiting for my movie to start at a place where I basically grew up...Tandy 10, about to watch 'He's just not that in to you', which I've really wanted to see because it has some of my favorite actors in it.
anyways, till next time nobody!
however, today has been swell, after a long night of nightmares I went to eat lunch with Melissa at jasons deli, deliciouso.
Now i'm waiting for my movie to start at a place where I basically grew up...Tandy 10, about to watch 'He's just not that in to you', which I've really wanted to see because it has some of my favorite actors in it.
anyways, till next time nobody!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Vegetarian
It's going well, I don't even crave meat. Yesterday, I ate 2 nutrigrain bars for breakfast, a salad and an apple for lunch and then a Bella Burger at my favorite bar with the company of two goo friends. For those that don't know, a Bella Burger is Portobello Mushrooms laid out on a burger like meat, making the texture of the sandwich that of a hamburger, but without all the nasty fat and grease you get from the meat, I will be eating more of these, laying of cheeses as well, and making myself healthy.
Didn't go to the gym this morning, was a little slow in the head upon waking up. Will go tomorrow and Satuday AND maybe Sunday if I want to.
seacrest out.
Didn't go to the gym this morning, was a little slow in the head upon waking up. Will go tomorrow and Satuday AND maybe Sunday if I want to.
seacrest out.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
whatiam
Is not at all what I feel like.
Taking steps to be and feel like the person that I want to be - Healthy, Happy, Loving, Protective, etc..
Over that past year my life has gone ape s*&t, and now it's starting to level out a little bit.
Here's to a new you (me).
Here's a list of things that I've either done or am doing in this process of becoming myself again.
1.- Remove Paxil, Wellbutrin and Klonopin from life (check)
2.- Get Gym Membership for life (check)
3.- Stop drinking (with the intent to hurt others or myself or to make a complete fool of myself or without regard for my loved ones feelings).....(check)
4.- Eat right (check?)
5.- Stop smoking (____)
6.- Save money (trying)
7.- Write more songs (trying)
8.- Be nice even to the people who piss me off enough to set their hair on fire (grrr check)
9.- Enjoy little things (trying)
10.- Talk to you (____)
Taking steps to be and feel like the person that I want to be - Healthy, Happy, Loving, Protective, etc..
Over that past year my life has gone ape s*&t, and now it's starting to level out a little bit.
Here's to a new you (me).
Here's a list of things that I've either done or am doing in this process of becoming myself again.
1.- Remove Paxil, Wellbutrin and Klonopin from life (check)
2.- Get Gym Membership for life (check)
3.- Stop drinking (with the intent to hurt others or myself or to make a complete fool of myself or without regard for my loved ones feelings).....(check)
4.- Eat right (check?)
5.- Stop smoking (____)
6.- Save money (trying)
7.- Write more songs (trying)
8.- Be nice even to the people who piss me off enough to set their hair on fire (grrr check)
9.- Enjoy little things (trying)
10.- Talk to you (____)
Sunday, March 22, 2009
chores
you know what?
Chores are fun! there...I said it!
What's so bad about being productive?
I'm taking pride in getting things done on a regular basis, to start a week with a clean sink, clean threads and bright sheets on the bed.
Perhaps...you should try it to! you bunch of lazy muffins! but I love you anyways.
Well, I'm about to leave the laundry mat, wash the car, go home and then chill with friends with a clean ass slate!
much love,
seacrest out!
Chores are fun! there...I said it!
What's so bad about being productive?
I'm taking pride in getting things done on a regular basis, to start a week with a clean sink, clean threads and bright sheets on the bed.
Perhaps...you should try it to! you bunch of lazy muffins! but I love you anyways.
Well, I'm about to leave the laundry mat, wash the car, go home and then chill with friends with a clean ass slate!
much love,
seacrest out!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
So this is where I'll be.
I suppose I will start to blog from here, share my feelings, make you sick to your stomach, etc...
For some people that do not know me, I am Oliver, I love music, I have friends, I have more enemies, I do like olives, I hate Okra, My family is my life, My life will probably be short, My fears are large, My faith is small (but my will to be better is strong), I miss some people alot, I tire of few, Playing Guitar and singing songs is probably my number one way to ease my way out of a panic attack, I should probably work at guitar center because I can't carry a guitar on my back all day, If I had a dollar for every panic attack I have a day I would have a few dollars a day I'm sure.
Anywho, That's me in a nut shell.
Other than that I look forward to venting frustration, sharing photos, and being all around annoying in a brand new way!
Sincerely,
Oliver.
For some people that do not know me, I am Oliver, I love music, I have friends, I have more enemies, I do like olives, I hate Okra, My family is my life, My life will probably be short, My fears are large, My faith is small (but my will to be better is strong), I miss some people alot, I tire of few, Playing Guitar and singing songs is probably my number one way to ease my way out of a panic attack, I should probably work at guitar center because I can't carry a guitar on my back all day, If I had a dollar for every panic attack I have a day I would have a few dollars a day I'm sure.
Anywho, That's me in a nut shell.
Other than that I look forward to venting frustration, sharing photos, and being all around annoying in a brand new way!
Sincerely,
Oliver.
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